So we have some news…

I have a lot of catching up to do…and most of you who regularly read my blog already know our big news…but if not, here goes… photo 7Yep…we are expecting. That news is so exciting and so scary, but if I am sure of one thing it is of God’s presence in the midst of our cautious optimism. The journey to this point has not been smooth. It has not been kind. It has not been wonderful. But it has brought us to a deeper place of understanding the love of our Lord and Savior. We are blessed to be the parents of this little one and pray daily that our little family would honor God through all of this.

Okay… I want to show you some more photos!!! Our photos were done by Katie Grace Photography over at www.bungalowsandolives.com she is the youngest sister of a family I grew up with through our church and she is  FANTASTIC!!! Katie had not done a pregnancy reveal before (and neither had we…) so this was super fun for us to brainstorm and come up with some fun ideas! Here they are…

photo 3
I just love this!
photo 4
I can’t look at the book “Go, Dog Go!” without thinking of my own childhood. My Grandpa, Papa, would read that to us all the time. I think my we all had it memorized at some point! I can’t wait for my dad to read it to our little!

We were looking for creative photos as well as attempting to recreate a few looks from our engagement photos… like below:

DK_271
engagement photo…

then the reveal photos 🙂

photo 1 photo 6

Then we had some fun with a super cute red tricycle!

photo 13
Thank you Bethany for letting us use your tandem bike!

photo 17

photo 16
my favorite!

 

Well, there you have it! Check back to see more house projects…hoping to have more time now that I’m not feeling so sick! This little one is already a stinker, but I’m not complaining…I love it!

 

 

 

 

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Crafty!

So, I’ve been on a crafty kick for a while…(okay, my entire life)…but I think I get inspired by what something could be. So when I walk into my house and can’t stand the wall color I get excited about what it will look like! I’m really excited to have some time to tackle some of these projects that are hanging out there. My first thing I wanted to get done was the chalkboard wall. We have a huge wall in our kitchen/loving room area that was just dying to be something more:) I’m so excited to actually draw on it…but for now, I love the stark contrast of the black against the lighter walls. It’s going to make the space feel a lot bigger and really stand out.

So I worked on this project all Memorial Day weekend. It was quite the feat. I learned a few new things along the way. The thing you should know about our house is EVERY wall and ceiling is TEXTURED!!! Now, I can do a textured ceiling with smooth walls or textured walls with a smooth ceiling, but when you get both…then I want to pull my hair out! Problem #1…I don’t have a lot of hair to pull out. Problem #2, as you may have guessed, you can’t paint a chalkboard wall on a textured surface…it has to be smooth.

So…here is the before…isn’t that color glorious! (yuck!) It’s kinda like peach meets rose pink…maybe skin tone… Whatever color it was, I’m so glad it’s not what I have to look at anymore! (at least not on that wall…it’s still down the hallways and pops up every now and then in the oddest of places…

Before
Before
the hubs ripping down the crown molding and baseboards
the hubs ripping down the crown molding and baseboards

Well, there it is…oh and don’t get me started on that door! Goodness, can’t wait to slap some paint on that baby! Anyway, so after a few layers of joint compound to smooth out the wall (see below) it was ready for the chalkboard paint.

photo 5-2

photo 4-5

 

photo 1-7photo 2-7 photo 3-6 photo 5-3So, after about 2-3 layers of joint  compound, the wall was ready to go. Sorry for the horrible photos…I didn’t take the time to get out the big wompin camera…I will take good photos for the final shots with writing on the wall (hopefully after this weekend).

Come back later to see the finished product! I can’t wait to show you…I just love it!

 

 

 

Busy as a bee…

Well, I didn’t intend to leave for so long again…but intentions mean nothing if your actions don’t back them up.

As you may already know the last few months have been CRAZY busy.  As March began so did our Easter Drama season at work. I’ll do a totally separate post about that experience, so stay tuned.

March and April were not only filled with Easter Drama prep, but we began our move mid March so I didn’t have a 40 minute commute come tech week…you know, those nights we have rehearsal till midnight and then I stay later to make sure things are done and ready for the next day…yeah, I didn’t want to drive home for almost an hour after that. 🙂

preview of Easter Drama...my hair had to be super curly and stay that way all night...so sponge curlers to the rescue!
preview of Easter Drama…my hair had to be super curly and stay that way all night…so sponge curlers to the rescue!

April 20 was Easter Sunday…I was pretty exhausted, but there was work to be done. We sold our house on Alger April 23, but still needed to move out. So, the 2 days after Easter were spent packing boxes, filling cars, being blessed by our dear friends Russ and Shannon, and then cleaning. It was a CRAZY 2 days, but we did it. And when I say blessed by these friends, let it be known, we NEVER would have been moved out in time if they hadn’t helped us. Shannon brought her kiddos over do work on their school work while she helped me pack boxes for “a few hours”. When we realized it would take more than “a few hours” and more than the cars we had on hand, she called her husband Russ who came by after work…from there we filled 2 mini-vans, a truck bed, my parents full size van, my Rav4 and the 2 church trailers. But we got it all done. The hubs had to go back the next day to do some finishing touches, but all in all it was done and we are back to owning only one house! YAY!

photo 2-3
boxes organized in the new basement

So, the month of May has come and gone and we have really started to make our new house a home. Oh, I forgot to mention the giant tree that decided it didn’t want to be there any more. Story time:

The weekend of Palm Sunday, we had a really intense storm slam through the area. It was so bad we lost power at church and had to cancel Palm Sunday…sad day :(. Anyway, we had just finished our tech rehearsal for Act 1 of the drama when the clouds turned a greenish gray, started swirling, and then we lost power at the church. I was down in the basement when the hubs called.
“Where are you?” He said.
“In the basement of the church. It’s really bad out there!” I replied.
“Ok, well…don’t come home yet till I can figure out if you can actually get home.” He said.
“What? Why? What happened?” I questioned.
“You know that big oak tree I said I wished wasn’t there at the end of the driveway? Well it’s not there. It fell over.” He stated. Now, when he said “big oak tree” I need to explain that the hubs and I would not have been able to fit our arms around it…this thing was massive! (Pictures below) So, we had that to clean up all of April and May…but good news is, we have fire wood for about 4 years now! And new seats for our fire pit 🙂 I already have other projects planned for some of the wood as well!

The oak from the road...
The oak from the road…
from our house...it missed the house by 2 feet.
from our house…it missed the house by 2 feet.
all chopped up
all chopped up
photo 1-4
College group from church came over and helped clean it up. Such a blessing!!!

We wrapped up May with a very productive memorial weekend. The hubs worked out in the yard and I put up our chalkboard wall. I have been dying to do that ever since we moved in…now I have my fun creative space to make pretty. I’m loving it…and I haven’t even drawn anything on it! I’ll explain in detail how I actually tackled that project in a separate post.

We are looking forward to continuing to make this house our home throughout the summer…it has been fun to dream our wildest dreams and then figure out if they can actually happen! 🙂 I’ll try to be better about posting updates. For the next 2 weeks I’m gearing up for the Start of Summer craft sale. If your in the area, be sure to stop by…message me for details.

Well, off to get some work done. I’ll post about the wall and Easter Drama a bit later.

~k.mae

 

Oceans…again

Not quite sure where to begin. I have put off posting this for a while…and yet, I know I need to write something.

It’s not intentional that I left you last September with not much more than a few songs to listen to, that may or may not tug at your heart strings. I have been longing for a moment to tell you more exciting things and to tell you I have been rescued from the ocean of sorrow I find myself in daily…and yet I have no such good news. The Lord is at work here. I know it. I feel it…and yet, I still hurt.

I’m angry. I’m angry at Satan…he is evil to the core and his “special hatred” for me as a woman is really getting old. I am sick and tired of this fight, and yet I wake each morning knowing there is a battle ahead. Admittedly, I want to be home. I want to be done with this. But I know wanting those things doesn’t help this battle end sooner…so here I am, fighting daily.

I’m frustrated. People can honestly say the dumbest things…I’m sorry, but we are human, and we are not all knowing. So when someone tells me why my story isn’t done because of the way their story turned out…I want to punch something and yell, “But our stories are different, God made us that way…like snow flakes…no two are exactly alike.” Yes, my trials may seem very similar to yours, but that doesn’t mean we will experience the same outcome. I do cling to the hope that my outcome will be like someone else’s, but for now, I just need comfort and prayers. (I do not say this to hurt anyone who has said something like this to me…I just realized last evening in talking with the hubs why I shut down when I hear that. It’s nothing against those who are trying to care for me. I’m just honestly not ready to hear it or process it well.)

I’m broken. My heart is in so many pieces I don’t know where to begin. Doing life doesn’t seem right. Not doing anything is agony. Trying to fix the pieces only shows me how broken they really are. Ignoring the brokenness is torture. I feel like I’m in a no win situation, and then my Heavenly Father comes along side of me and reminds me that I don’t have to put this back together myself. He will do it. He will fix my broken heart, mend the wounds that will eventually heal and scar, but never go away. He will be there as I walk blindly through my days trying to figure out each step.

I’m loved. So loved. I have the best family, friends, co-workesrs and husband a girl could ask for. My walk though lonely, is not alone. I look into the eyes of my loving husband and know that I am not alone. He is right there in this broken mess with me. I am blessed to be so loved and so prayed for.

I am God’s beloved. I cling to that. Daily I rest in this truth. My broken heart. My messed up dreams. My deepest longings. He is there. Holding them all in His hands. I know my story is not over. I have no idea what it will be. I am so excited to be out of this raging ocean…but until that happens I will continue to find rest in the deep, deep love of my savior.

Below is a video of me singing at our praise service on February 16, 2014. The day of this service I found myself in one of the hardest moments of my life. I speak before the song, below is what I said…

“Before I sing this song, I need to share something with you. I first heard this song last September, and it has been my life-song over the last 6 months… We have all found our self in the middle of an ocean when the unthinkable happens, and there is no explanation.  I am in that ocean now. It is here that I find myself trusting God in a way I never have before. My trust isn’t comfortable, it isn’t surrounded by boarders of all things familiar. Instead, my trust is in the middle of the unknown…it is without boarders. But it is here that The Lord has taken me by the hand and led me deeper, than my feet would ever choose to wander on their own…deeper into His love. I challenge you to listen to the lyrics of this song and may these words be the prayer of your heart, so that your faith can be made stronger in the presence of your Savior.”

“Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)”

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will standAnd I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
[x5]

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

Steady My Heart

Sorry for the explosion of songs and lyrics. But to know me is to know that I speak through music, a lot. So here is another song that is speaking to my heart lately…

“Steady My Heart”

Wish it could be easy
Why is life so messy?
Why is pain a part of us?
There are days I feel like
Nothing ever goes right
Sometimes it just hurts so muchBut You’re here
You’re real
I know I can trust You

Even when it hurts
Even when it’s hard
Even when it all just falls apart
I will run to You
‘Cause I know that You are
Lover of my soul
Healer of my scars
You steady my heart [x2]

I’m not gonna worry
I know that You’ve got me
Right inside the palm of your hand
Each and every moment
What’s good and what gets broken
Happens just the way You plan

You are here
You’re real
I know I can trust You

Even when it hurts
Even when it’s hard
Even when it all just falls apart
I will run to You
‘Cause I know that You are
Lover of my soul
Healer of my scars
You steady my heart [x2]

And I will run to You
And find refuge in Your arms
And I will sing to You
‘Cause of everything You are

You steady my heart [x2]

Even when it hurts
Even when it’s hard
Even when it all just falls apart
I will run to You
‘Cause I know that You are
Lover of my soul
Healer of my scars
You steady my heart [x2]

I’m not gonna worry
I know that you’ve got me
Right inside the palm of your hand

There is a depth to my relationship with God that I have never had before…He is pulling me to the center of His heart. There I am finding comfort and love like never before. I am never the one that says “God did this to me.” but I am the one who says, “God allowed this to happen to me. Why? I do not know…but I do not need to know.” That last part has been the hardest of this roller coaster he has me riding. I live a very blessed life. I have a wonderful family, a great job, the best friends, and a husband that is beyond anything I could have dreamed:). So when things have rocked my boat a bit it’s been easy to not ask “why?” Now I find myself with a capsized boat and I am sinking deeper and deeper into the unknown…here is where I just want to understand what is happening to me. I just want to ask, okay scream “Why God?!” But I know why. I feel why…I just don’t want to face that answer. It’s hard to actually know why…it’s easier to turn a blind shoulder to the why and say I don’t need to know. But here I am, knowing… It’s because He is jealous for me. He loves me so much. He wants to draw me so close to him I hear His heart beat. He has broken me, completely. And in that brokenness He is made stronger. His love for me is aloud to go deeper. My faith, hope and trust in Him knows no boundaries. I am being lead deeper and deeper into Him. And though I don’t enjoy the way I’m getting there, I’m so thankful He hasn’t given up on me and my heart.
At least thats where I am today. As time goes by I have really bad days and okay days…admittedly it’s easier to write on the okay days… Just know that I appreciate your prayers so much and feel completely blessed to have so many people lifting me up in this hard time…even when you don’t know “why.”
As the Lord works to steady my heart and heal my scars…I thank you for lifting me up into His comforting arms.

Though I cry, I will sing…

As you may have gathered from my previous post, life has hit with a force so strong I wonder each day how I’ll continue to stand. As loved ones surround me with care and prayers a friend who doesn’t even know the depths my heart has hit sent this song to me this morning…

“Though You Slay Me”
-Shane & Shane

I come, God, I come
I return to the Lord
The one who’s broken
The one who’s torn me apart
You struck down to bind me up
You say You do it all in love
That I might know You in Your suffering

Though You slay me
Yet I will praise You
Though You take from me
I will bless Your name
Though You ruin me
Still I will worship
Sing a song to the one who’s all I need

My heart and flesh may fail
The earth below give way
But with my eyes, with my eyes I’ll see the Lord
Lifted high on that day
Behold, the Lamb that was slain
And I’ll know every tear was worth it all

Though You slay me
Yet I will praise You
Though You take from me
I will bless Your name
Though You ruin me
Still I will worship
Sing a song to the one who’s all I need

Though tonight I’m crying out
Let this cup pass from me now
You’re still all that I need
You’re enough for me
You’re enough for me

Though You slay me
Yet I will praise You
Though You take from me
I will bless Your name
Though You ruin me
Still I will worship
Sing a song to the one who’s all I need
Sing a song to the one who’s all I need

I’m so overwhelmed with the truth of these lyrics. I’m focusing my heart on Jeremiah 17:7-8 – “But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.” When storms hit trees, the trees reach further into the ground from which they receive their life…they do this so they are still standing when it’s all over. I am there. Reaching as deep as I can into the heart of my Lord, from which I receive my life, my hope, my faith, my strength, my comfort, my trust, my confidence, and my love. It is there in the deep depths of His heart where He meets my sorrow, catches all the tears that fall from my eyes and pumps life into my shaken limbs.

Oceans

Tonight you find me in the deepest ocean of my life…you also find me with hope like never before…this is the song on repeat around here.

OCEANS – HILLSONG

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
[x6]

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

M.I.A.

Sorry I’ve been a bit MIA lately. My computer died and I really don’t like typing out blog posts on my phone. I’ll get up and running soon. I promise. Hope you are enjoying this cool summer we are having! Off to take my puppy to get her hair cut! She is one shaggy little white bear! 😉 have a great Friday!

someone needs a haircut!
someone needs a haircut!

I know that He is for me.

So, we are in the middle of KWAC week and I really don’t have a spare second, but I did want to leave you with another song to check out. It has become such a wonderful thing to listen to and focus on during this time of my life. I love what Kari Jobe – the artist – says in the chorus “I know that You are for me. I know that You are for me. I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness.” That has been my strength over the past few months…God is for me. He is made strong in my weakness. He will not forsake me. What a wonderful thing.

          “You Are For Me” by Kari Jobe <click to see her video

So faithful
So constant
So loving and so true
So powerful in all You doYou fill me
You see me
You know my every move
You love for me to sing to YouI know that You are for me
I know that You are for me
I know that You will never
Forsake me in my weakness

And I know that You have come down
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who You are

So patient
So gracious
So merciful and true
So wonderful in all You do

You fill me
You see me
You know my every move
And You love for me to sing to You

And Lord, I know that You are for me
I know that You are for me
I know that You will never
Forsake me in my weakness

And I know that You have come down
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me

I know that You are for me
I know that You are for me
I know that You will never
Forsake me in my weakness

And I know that You have come down
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who You are

You remind me

I know that You are for me
I know that You are for me
I know that You will never
Forsake me in my weakness

And I know that You have come down
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who You are

So there you have it…What songs are touching your heart right now? I’d love to hear them:)
Have a happy weekend! Hope you are keeping much cooler than we are here, but if not…turn on the sprinkler, put on a swimsuit and find some joy outside! 🙂
P.S. I started a new book…can’t wait to tell you all about it!!!

Won’t Ever Change…

So I’m sorry I have been MIA for a while. I had a craft sale, a mini vacation, and a HUGE work event (which we are currently in the middle of) I’ll post pics from everything, but I wanted to post the lyrics to this song we sang in church last week. I fall asleep with the chorus running through my head…I love it! I’ll expand further why I love it a bit later, but as we were singing, tears hit my eyes. 🙂 Good tears. I am so deeply loved by a God who paid EVERYTHING to set me free!

Oh, and those of you from my home town, this song was written by Matt Pearson (his sister Amber is one of my dearest friends) I’ll put a link to the youtube version of it as well:)

Won’t Ever Change

Verse 1:
You found a way into my heart
Through somewhere in between
Where I am and who You are
And all that lies unseen

Pre-Chorus:
I’m spinning, You’re turning around,
What’s been upside down
I’m spinning, You’re turning around

Chorus:
Now I know
I hear You screaming freedom,
I hear You saying my name
Now I know
You’re all I’ve ever needed
You say You’re love won’t ever change

Verse 2:
You lift up all of me that’s down
In this world that longs for more
Just show a glimpse of who You are
And all You have in store

Pre-Chorus:
I’m spinning, You’re turning around,
What’s been upside down
I’m spinning, You’re turning around

Chorus:
Now I know
I hear You screaming freedom,
I hear You saying my name
Now I know
You’re all I’ve ever needed
You say You’re love won’t ever change

Bridge:
Discouragement’s contagious
When the lies keep circling round
And brokenness contains us
Discouragement’s contagious
When the lies keep circling round
And brokenness…
When thoughts tear us upside down

Chorus:
Now I know
I hear You screaming freedom,
I hear You saying my name
Now I know
You’re all I’ve ever needed
You say You’re love won’t ever change

Chorus:
Now I know
I hear You screaming freedom,
I hear You saying my name
Now I know
You’re all I’ve ever needed
You say You’re love won’t ever change

Won’t Ever Change – Matt Pearson